Oh, where are we? Last time I wrote, I was somewhere in a year of service and haven't been there in... well, over a year now. I'm somewhere in the Capital, in my apartment, on a break between grad school classes, with a full-time/sometimes-more-than-full-time job, trying to enjoy what I have of Summer.
If you haven't caught on by now: So. Much. Has. Changed.
But a lot hasn't. I'm still me. I'm a collaboration of my experiences, I have quirks I've picked up along the way (thanks to AmeriCorps, I fold my shirts differently than I did before. Weird, right?) but at the core, I'm still the same. How would I describe me? I don't think I know that, but I do know that these are some of the things I've figured out since my year of service. It's like different time periods of my life, Pre-AmeriCorps (PAC), Middle AmeriCorps (MAC) and after AmeriCorps (AAC). Not my best acronym-I got, but I'll go with it. Anyway, these are my 10 realizations about myself AAC.
-When I don't feel a particular emotion, I default to "happy." And I don't think that's new.
-My biggest fascination is that I live on a planet. Don't even get me started on how cool that is, unless you want me to continue on for an hour about one topic.
-When I set my mind to something, I'll probably get it done, but when I set my heart to something, I definitely will get it done.
-I care more about my fish than I do anything else in my apartment. Except my roommate. I would save her first, in a fire or something. Chomp has water, he's probably safe unless his tank melts.
-I'm still somewhere between being an independent adult and a recent college grad who is still figuring it out. It's that gray area/awkward phase that I hope I grow out of but not before I'm 100% ready. I don't know what that means.
-I am whatever the opposite of musically inclined or musically talented is. I want to say hopeless but I haven't given up yet, I've just accepted the fact that I can't read music or recognize notes. I learned this when I tried to play the violin when I was young, but I re-learned it when I felt inspired to play the Ukulele. I mastered one song: London Bridge.
-I haven't lost my ability to write a research paper, but I'm far from mastering APA format. Contrary to what my undergraduate self believed, I'll take Chicago Style back any day.
-I have had to trust my instincts a lot in the past year and I've found out that they're pretty good. I'm quite impressed by how much I've let myself trust myself. Does that make sense? I hope so.
-I'm still terrible at packing, and I'm quite certain that I won't ever be good at it. And I don't think I will ever enjoy it, either.
-I love people. And feelings. And my pre-AmeriCorps self would have told you that emotions and feelings weren't important and that being objective should be a priority and that I didn't much care for meeting new people or mingling in groups. And I can tell you right now that I am the polar opposite of that because I adore humans and understanding feelings and connecting with people and learning about their stories and experiences. I'm still introverted, but it takes a lot less effort to socialize now.
So that's basically what we've got here. Same Allie, new living situation/first apartment, first big job, grad school, and navigating this "adult" thing. Its harder than parents make it look.
